Sophia's story

Trigger warning: This story contains content that may be disturbing with references to self-harm, suicide ideation and abuse.

At 14, Sophia is carrying more than any young person ever should.

Most mornings for Sophia began with panic. Schoolwork piling up. Friendships feeling too complicated. A knot in her stomach that never left. Her dad having high academic expectations of her – anything less felt like failure.

What no one knows, what Sophia has never told anyone, is the much heavier burden she’s been carrying since she was nine. A hurt no child should ever experience.

So she’s held it inside — and the weight of it has stayed with her.

And for too long, Sophia has been thinking about ending her life.

She has tried three times already. Even when the police came to her home in the middle of the night, she couldn't bring herself to say why she felt so lost, so overwhelmed, so alone.

She’s talked to her school counsellor. But she doesn’t tell them the whole truth either.

One afternoon, sitting alone in her room, Sophia opened the What's Up website – Barnardo’s counselling helpline for children 5-19 years old. She clicked on the webchat option, typed her name, and chose the main reason for wanting to talk: suicide ideation.

Then the chat starts, and she types just one word:

"Hi."

Through that first conversation, Sophia finally shared what she had been too afraid to say out loud. When she was nine, her father had touched her in ways that weren't okay. For a year, this went on. She'd never told anyone. She was afraid her mum would panic, or that she'd be stopped from seeing her siblings. So she'd stayed silent.

The counsellor, Allanah, didn't rush her. She didn't push. She simply made space.

Throughout their hour-long chat, Sophia opened up about her trauma. Her self-harm. The suicidal thoughts she had carried for years.

“I have been in a very dark place for almost a year now,” she said to our counsellor.

"Are these thoughts with you all the time?" Allanah asks.

"Yes, they are."

"What thoughts come up for you?"

"That I'm awful… that I don't deserve anything."

Allanah listened, reassured her that she wasn't to blame. And importantly, she checked carefully to make sure Sophia wasn't in immediate danger.

Once confident Sophia was safe for the night, Allanah focused on unpacking why she felt this way and exploring other ways to cope. She built trust, hoping Sophia would come back to do more work together.

Their chat lasts a full hour.

Before ending the conversation, Allanah asks:

"Would you like to come back another day for more support?"

"Yes," Sophia types. "Probably."

Allanah replies: "It was very brave of you to reach out. When you come back, we can work on a safety plan and explore what's causing these feelings together."

By the end of the chat, Sophia says she feels "vulnerable but relieved."

Relieved not to be alone. Relieved to finally be heard. Relieved to begin imagining — even just a little — that things could change.

Because every call or chat to What's Up is a chance to change a life.

But we can only answer these calls with your support. Your donation keeps the line open for thousands of young people like Sophia every year — including the ones who are finally brave enough to tell their story for the first time.

Will you help us answer the next call for help?